Proverbs 30:16 (NKJV) The grave, the barren womb, the earth that is not satisfied with water-And the fire never says, "Enough!"
So we attended another infertility/adoption seminar last night. I was most inspired by the ladies' testimonies on how they overcame their challenges in growing their families. There was a woman that adopted through the foster care system, another adopted through an agency after countless failed fertility treatments, one lady the doctors told her they had no idea why she couldn't conceive and eventually she conceived naturally, and another had her mother be her surrogate delivering her triplets! A panel of specialist including a fertility doctor, adoption attorneys, a foster care representative, and counselors that all discussed the ways a family is possible. The whole theme of the evening seemed to be its not if a family is possible but when.
After the seminar, we went to talk the fertility doctor because we have not give up hope on having a child that has both mine and my husband's DNA. But he gave the same answer that so many specialist have before him-NO! He was very sweet about it and I completely respected his opinion. He could have said, "sure lets give it a try" and then run to the bank with our money! At the end of our conversation, the doctor even gave me a hug(I don't think I have ever gotten a hug from a doctor before) but it was probably because he knew the futility of our situation and of course my mascara was running by that point.....
So we attended another infertility/adoption seminar last night. I was most inspired by the ladies' testimonies on how they overcame their challenges in growing their families. There was a woman that adopted through the foster care system, another adopted through an agency after countless failed fertility treatments, one lady the doctors told her they had no idea why she couldn't conceive and eventually she conceived naturally, and another had her mother be her surrogate delivering her triplets! A panel of specialist including a fertility doctor, adoption attorneys, a foster care representative, and counselors that all discussed the ways a family is possible. The whole theme of the evening seemed to be its not if a family is possible but when.
After the seminar, we went to talk the fertility doctor because we have not give up hope on having a child that has both mine and my husband's DNA. But he gave the same answer that so many specialist have before him-NO! He was very sweet about it and I completely respected his opinion. He could have said, "sure lets give it a try" and then run to the bank with our money! At the end of our conversation, the doctor even gave me a hug(I don't think I have ever gotten a hug from a doctor before) but it was probably because he knew the futility of our situation and of course my mascara was running by that point.....
So the discussion after we got home centered around, what is the point of it all? For people like us who seriously have to jump over some major hurdles to have a family, is this the way God intended it to be? Then once we overcome those hurdles we'll have even larger ones in raising the child. I don't have the slightest idea on what that is like, but from the outside looking in, raising the child seems like its harder than bringing them through the front door. And I always come back to the same question for myself, "Do I want a child only because it seems impossible?" Or does the yearning for a child come from God like in Psalms 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.
So I am left with the same grief that never seems to get easier, the same outlook that never gets brighter, and the same questions that never get answered. Only the Lord knows all....In Jesus name
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