Smooth Sailing

Luke 8:22-25(The Message) One day he and his disciples got in a boat.  "Lets cross the lake," he said. And they went. It was smooth sailing, and he fell asleep.  A terrific storm came up suddenly on the lake.  Water poured in, and they were about to capsize.  They woke Jesus: "Master, Master, we're going to drown!"

Getting to his feet, he told the wind, "Silence!" and the waves "Quiet down!" They did it.  The lake became smooth as glass

Then he said to his disciples, "Why can't you trust me?"

Some experiences that I have  had as a child still remain with me as an adult.  My most fondest memories almost always involve a shared experience in nature with my family or friends.  I was so fortunate growing up to have parents that always exposed me to new experiences.  From winter ski trips, to Caribbean cruises, and even a trip to Europe there were always new adventures to be had.  One memorable experience was when my family chartered a sailboat on the Chesapeake Bay.  We had a captain that showed us when and how to let out or pull in the sails.  I fondly remember the warmth of the sunshine, the steady wind that pushed the boat along its course, and the power that the sails produced.  

Whenever I cross the bay bridge I always see the sail boats and I think back to that exciting day with my family.  So its always been a goal of mine to learn how to sail for myself and share in the experience again with my family and friends.  

I finally got around to taking a sailing course at the Belle Haven Marina.  After lots of research on sailing schools, this one came highly recommended.  Surprisingly, there are a lot of sailing schools in MD, DC, VA area.  In fact there is a rather large sailing community that I would love to be involved in.  

The instructors at the school were fantastic.  After a quick explanation on the parts of the sailboat and the points of sail, we learned how to rig the sailboat and were soon sailing away down the Potomac River.  We learned to sail on 19 foot Flying Scot Sailboats which are really stable, have a quick response, and I later learned I can handle this boat by myself!

Sailing is actually quite and intense sensory experience.  It cause you to be hyper sensitive to your sense of touch in feeling the direction of the wind, eyesight to be keenly aware of your surroundings, and even hearing as the waves crash or ripple under the boat.  There is even the added bonus of burning calories as you lower/raise the sails, shift from one side of the boat to the other, and strengthens the core muscles as you brace yourself for any sudden occurrences.  

After the class, I received a basic sailing certification.-my dream come true!

The week after the class, I set out for my maiden voyage alone to practice all that I had learned.  Intense nerves and stress didn't keep me from maneuvering out of the marina and into the wide expanse of the Potomac River.  The wind was relatively calm so I practiced my turns, changed my course, and raised/lowered my sails referring back to the lessons of my instructors.  

BUT,  towards the end of the day the winds suddenly started to pick up as a storm approached.  The weight of just myself in the boat caused the boat to go a lot faster than I could handle.  As I began to approach the dock, I had too much speed so I just kept making circles in efforts to come up with a better plan for my approach.  Crashing into the dock is just not an option and there are no breaks on a sailboat!  Having learned the lesson of the doubtful disciples when the storm came upon their boat, I remained completely calm and in control of the situation.   Since the marina is part of a sailing school the dock master is prepared to come to the aid of students at a moment's notice.  So the dock master came to my aid on his small motor boat, hopped into the sailboat with me, and simply instructed me on how to dock the boat safely.  

I love engaging in an environmentally friendly activity completely powered by the wind.  The same wind that God sent to Noah's ark to subside the flood waters, the same wind that carried Jesus and his disciples, and the same wind that Jesus calmed in the face of adversity.  

May my Lord and Savior always be the wind in my sails and the instruction in my boat-In Jesus name

Opening our home and our hearts

1 Timothy 5:10 And having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.  

Thanks for all the wonderful prayers, thoughts, and even cards!  Since my last post, I had been going through a pretty rough time.  The infertility journey can sometime be riddled with stumbling blocks.  Still I remain open hearted and open minded to the possibilities that God has in store for me.  

I have always felt that when a change is to come in my life, I have to make room.   Before I met my husband, I cleaned out my closets and did an overall de-cluttering of my house.  Three years later we got married and I had room for him to move into my home and my heart. 

Recently we have decided to make room in our home and hearts for a foster dog Taz. 

Taz is an Akita-mix and has been shuffled from different homes and animal shelters.  He has suffered some abuse because when we first brought him home he would growl and bark at us in fear.  But after giving him lots of love, exercise, and playtime he has gained our confidence and blossomed into a wonderful companion. 

We are not stopping there because we know that the Lord has even more in store for our family.  Now, we are in the process of making more room for His blessings, In Jesus name

Some days its just too hard to put one foot in front of the other

The pain and grief are just sometimes too much.

Pray for me

Rest for the weary: The blessing of vacation

Mark 6:31(NASB) And He said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while." (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.)


I rarely ever feel joy or just sheer happiness from the day-to-day occurrences.  Usually I have to go within and to the Lord to find it.  From my life situations I find frustration, anger, disappointment, and anxiety.  But I can shout HALLELUJAH for a vacation I just went on with my family.  A vacation that restored my soul and renewed my faith that my frustrating life situations can change and one day I will find joy and happiness from the day-to-day.  

We rented this beautiful house on Lake Sidney Lanier in Georgia for a week.

Every morning, this is what I woke up to... (after a run, a bike ride, or a swim in the lake) 

Then we would head out on my uncle's boat for a cruise.

At one point when we were out on the water I became so overcome with emotion.  I thought about all that I have had to endure over the past few years-the loss of some dear family members, watching a very close friend lose her battle with cancer, my infertility, the challenges of keeping my marriage strong, and facing financial struggles.  Being on the water and surrounded by this wonderful setting that God created, I felt comforted and in His presence.  So I was thankful for my big hat and sunglasses so no one could see my mascara running!

The week was not without some adventure

And a little sightseeing

But in the end it was all about time well spent with my family

And rest for my weariness

May I continue to see glimpses of my burden becoming lighter.  In Jesus name,

First bike race...hopefully of many!

Isaiah 32:15-17 till the Spirit is poured is poured on us from on high, and the desert becomes a fertile field, and the fertile field seems like a forest.  The Lord's justice will dwell in the desert, his righteousness live in the fertile field.  The fruit of that righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever.

Because so many doors have been closed for me, I lack the confidence to open the window to new experiences.  From my painful and limited way of thinking, why even try something new only to be met with more disappointment?  Its so much easier to stay in my comfort zone and do what I have always done.  In my heart I know that if I keep doing the same things that I have always done, my life will remain the same  lacking growth.  But after being knocked down so many times, I struggle with the motivation to get up again.

So I take baby steps and look for fresh perspectives on my comfort zone activities.  I have been cycling with my road bike for a little over 8 years.  I've just done recreational rides around my neighborhood usually for an hour or two never really pushing myself.

  For the first time I branched out and did an organized bike race/ride-the Air Force Classic Ride in Crystal City, VA

I picked up my race packet the day before.

Got my trusty bike tuned up and ready to go.

Race day finally came and I was so nervous!  There were over 1800 cyclist and I have never ridden with such a large group before.  

As I crossed the starting line, my adrenaline really kicked in.

  I felt really motivated to push myself harder than I normally would just because of the collective energy of all the other riders.  

 By the end of the race I discovered that I had gone fast enough to receive a gold medal!  I went from nervous apprehension to achieving more than I thought possible.  May my confidence continue to increase and may I see that growth is still possible despite my disappointments. In Jesus name

Heart-Broken

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:  If either one of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 

I always thought that my long term friendships with my girlfriends were forever.  I thought that no matter what may have been done or not done; said or not said -we would be there for one another in a both big ways and small.  I thought my friends were my family and that our relationship was unconditional. 

I guess I was wrong. 

The grief of infertility is all consuming.  This grief latched on to me like a leech draining me of my joy and selfishly took over my life causing me to be distant from everyone and everything that I love.  When it comes to my friends, I have completely accepted my role in not being there for them the way that I used to.   But now that it seems that this burden of grief has become just a little lighter I have reached out to my friend and she is not there. 

I never thought it was possible to be so heart broken by the loss of a friendship that I didn't even know was gone.  Even writing this entry I have had to pause to dry my eyes. 

My only resolve is to not give up now matter how much the rejection hurts.   Along with all of the other challenges in my life, just letting my friendships go is not the answer.  While my friends and I may be on completely different paths in life,  may they always know that they are important to me, I love them, and I am praying for them.  In Jesus name,

A vintage transformation

Romans 12:2 (NIV) Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing, and perfect will.   


Some days I just wish I could have a different life.  I wish I had chosen a different career path instead of being stuck at the bottom of a new career that I don't really have any passion for.  I wish I didn't have to experience so much sadness and disappointment at every turn.  When I see others that seem to be living the life that I had hoped for, I genuinely feel happy for them but even more sad for my dreams that didn't come true.

If I have learned anything from my experiences its that things change and never ever stay the same. This truth gives me comfort, hope, and the strength to face another day.  

Yesterday I had a really bad day at work.  It was the kind of day where all these issues kept arising that I had absolutely no control over but it was my job to expedite some sort of resolution.  I ran my own business for over 10 years and due to the change in the economy I have had to humble myself and become an employee.  So not having complete control over any and all situations makes me want to scream!  Instead, I come home and work on projects where I do have complete control like working out, sewing, gardening, wine making, or even just washing some dishes. Simple projects that I enjoy give me peace in knowing that I can at least accomplish some things that I set out to do.

My solution for my bad day at work was to take a look at my wardrobe and find a something that could be renewed or transformed.  I came across this shirt dress.

I got this dress at a clothing swap last summer. When I first tried it on it was way too small but I just loved the colors and the unique pattern. So it took up the hopeful space in my closet because I just know someday  it would fit.   Around the same time I decided to start running so I could loose weight just to wear the dress.  I ended up loving to run, I lost weight, and now the dress is almost too big; so this dress really caused a transformation in me! 

 I recently discovered the dress is vintage from a mid 80's designer- Katherine Ogust.   You can't tell from the picture above, but the white was really starting to look dingy and showing its age.  

Katherine Ogust dresses sell for around $140 and I got mine for free!

After my hard day at work, I decided to renew and transform my favorite dress with some fabric dye.

I put it in the washer with some hot water and left the washer cycle on agitate for 30 minutes.  

It was quite an easy process, I sat and watch the washer almost the entire time wishing there was some way I could jump in with the dress, get agitated for 30 minutes, then emerge transformed with a fantastic profession that I love and a working reproductive system!

Until that happens, I'll settle for a new-to-me dress renewed by some $2 fabric dye and transformed by my creativity.  

I headed off to work the next day in my dress armed with a quiet sense of accomplishment and realization that God gave me this washer machine called life; whichever cycle He chooses to have me on, I will emerge renewed and transformed.   In Jesus name