Smooth Sailing

Luke 8:22-25(The Message) One day he and his disciples got in a boat.  "Lets cross the lake," he said. And they went. It was smooth sailing, and he fell asleep.  A terrific storm came up suddenly on the lake.  Water poured in, and they were about to capsize.  They woke Jesus: "Master, Master, we're going to drown!"

Getting to his feet, he told the wind, "Silence!" and the waves "Quiet down!" They did it.  The lake became smooth as glass

Then he said to his disciples, "Why can't you trust me?"

Some experiences that I have  had as a child still remain with me as an adult.  My most fondest memories almost always involve a shared experience in nature with my family or friends.  I was so fortunate growing up to have parents that always exposed me to new experiences.  From winter ski trips, to Caribbean cruises, and even a trip to Europe there were always new adventures to be had.  One memorable experience was when my family chartered a sailboat on the Chesapeake Bay.  We had a captain that showed us when and how to let out or pull in the sails.  I fondly remember the warmth of the sunshine, the steady wind that pushed the boat along its course, and the power that the sails produced.  

Whenever I cross the bay bridge I always see the sail boats and I think back to that exciting day with my family.  So its always been a goal of mine to learn how to sail for myself and share in the experience again with my family and friends.  

I finally got around to taking a sailing course at the Belle Haven Marina.  After lots of research on sailing schools, this one came highly recommended.  Surprisingly, there are a lot of sailing schools in MD, DC, VA area.  In fact there is a rather large sailing community that I would love to be involved in.  

The instructors at the school were fantastic.  After a quick explanation on the parts of the sailboat and the points of sail, we learned how to rig the sailboat and were soon sailing away down the Potomac River.  We learned to sail on 19 foot Flying Scot Sailboats which are really stable, have a quick response, and I later learned I can handle this boat by myself!

Sailing is actually quite and intense sensory experience.  It cause you to be hyper sensitive to your sense of touch in feeling the direction of the wind, eyesight to be keenly aware of your surroundings, and even hearing as the waves crash or ripple under the boat.  There is even the added bonus of burning calories as you lower/raise the sails, shift from one side of the boat to the other, and strengthens the core muscles as you brace yourself for any sudden occurrences.  

After the class, I received a basic sailing certification.-my dream come true!

The week after the class, I set out for my maiden voyage alone to practice all that I had learned.  Intense nerves and stress didn't keep me from maneuvering out of the marina and into the wide expanse of the Potomac River.  The wind was relatively calm so I practiced my turns, changed my course, and raised/lowered my sails referring back to the lessons of my instructors.  

BUT,  towards the end of the day the winds suddenly started to pick up as a storm approached.  The weight of just myself in the boat caused the boat to go a lot faster than I could handle.  As I began to approach the dock, I had too much speed so I just kept making circles in efforts to come up with a better plan for my approach.  Crashing into the dock is just not an option and there are no breaks on a sailboat!  Having learned the lesson of the doubtful disciples when the storm came upon their boat, I remained completely calm and in control of the situation.   Since the marina is part of a sailing school the dock master is prepared to come to the aid of students at a moment's notice.  So the dock master came to my aid on his small motor boat, hopped into the sailboat with me, and simply instructed me on how to dock the boat safely.  

I love engaging in an environmentally friendly activity completely powered by the wind.  The same wind that God sent to Noah's ark to subside the flood waters, the same wind that carried Jesus and his disciples, and the same wind that Jesus calmed in the face of adversity.  

May my Lord and Savior always be the wind in my sails and the instruction in my boat-In Jesus name

Opening our home and our hearts

1 Timothy 5:10 And having a reputation for good works: if she has brought up children, has shown hospitality, washed the feet of the saints, has cared for the afflicted, and has devoted herself to every good work.  

Thanks for all the wonderful prayers, thoughts, and even cards!  Since my last post, I had been going through a pretty rough time.  The infertility journey can sometime be riddled with stumbling blocks.  Still I remain open hearted and open minded to the possibilities that God has in store for me.  

I have always felt that when a change is to come in my life, I have to make room.   Before I met my husband, I cleaned out my closets and did an overall de-cluttering of my house.  Three years later we got married and I had room for him to move into my home and my heart. 

Recently we have decided to make room in our home and hearts for a foster dog Taz. 

Taz is an Akita-mix and has been shuffled from different homes and animal shelters.  He has suffered some abuse because when we first brought him home he would growl and bark at us in fear.  But after giving him lots of love, exercise, and playtime he has gained our confidence and blossomed into a wonderful companion. 

We are not stopping there because we know that the Lord has even more in store for our family.  Now, we are in the process of making more room for His blessings, In Jesus name

Some days its just too hard to put one foot in front of the other

The pain and grief are just sometimes too much.

Pray for me

Rest for the weary: The blessing of vacation

Mark 6:31(NASB) And He said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while." (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.)


I rarely ever feel joy or just sheer happiness from the day-to-day occurrences.  Usually I have to go within and to the Lord to find it.  From my life situations I find frustration, anger, disappointment, and anxiety.  But I can shout HALLELUJAH for a vacation I just went on with my family.  A vacation that restored my soul and renewed my faith that my frustrating life situations can change and one day I will find joy and happiness from the day-to-day.  

We rented this beautiful house on Lake Sidney Lanier in Georgia for a week.

Every morning, this is what I woke up to... (after a run, a bike ride, or a swim in the lake) 

Then we would head out on my uncle's boat for a cruise.

At one point when we were out on the water I became so overcome with emotion.  I thought about all that I have had to endure over the past few years-the loss of some dear family members, watching a very close friend lose her battle with cancer, my infertility, the challenges of keeping my marriage strong, and facing financial struggles.  Being on the water and surrounded by this wonderful setting that God created, I felt comforted and in His presence.  So I was thankful for my big hat and sunglasses so no one could see my mascara running!

The week was not without some adventure

And a little sightseeing

But in the end it was all about time well spent with my family

And rest for my weariness

May I continue to see glimpses of my burden becoming lighter.  In Jesus name,

First bike race...hopefully of many!

Isaiah 32:15-17 till the Spirit is poured is poured on us from on high, and the desert becomes a fertile field, and the fertile field seems like a forest.  The Lord's justice will dwell in the desert, his righteousness live in the fertile field.  The fruit of that righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever.

Because so many doors have been closed for me, I lack the confidence to open the window to new experiences.  From my painful and limited way of thinking, why even try something new only to be met with more disappointment?  Its so much easier to stay in my comfort zone and do what I have always done.  In my heart I know that if I keep doing the same things that I have always done, my life will remain the same  lacking growth.  But after being knocked down so many times, I struggle with the motivation to get up again.

So I take baby steps and look for fresh perspectives on my comfort zone activities.  I have been cycling with my road bike for a little over 8 years.  I've just done recreational rides around my neighborhood usually for an hour or two never really pushing myself.

  For the first time I branched out and did an organized bike race/ride-the Air Force Classic Ride in Crystal City, VA

I picked up my race packet the day before.

Got my trusty bike tuned up and ready to go.

Race day finally came and I was so nervous!  There were over 1800 cyclist and I have never ridden with such a large group before.  

As I crossed the starting line, my adrenaline really kicked in.

  I felt really motivated to push myself harder than I normally would just because of the collective energy of all the other riders.  

 By the end of the race I discovered that I had gone fast enough to receive a gold medal!  I went from nervous apprehension to achieving more than I thought possible.  May my confidence continue to increase and may I see that growth is still possible despite my disappointments. In Jesus name

Heart-Broken

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV) Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:  If either one of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. 

I always thought that my long term friendships with my girlfriends were forever.  I thought that no matter what may have been done or not done; said or not said -we would be there for one another in a both big ways and small.  I thought my friends were my family and that our relationship was unconditional. 

I guess I was wrong. 

The grief of infertility is all consuming.  This grief latched on to me like a leech draining me of my joy and selfishly took over my life causing me to be distant from everyone and everything that I love.  When it comes to my friends, I have completely accepted my role in not being there for them the way that I used to.   But now that it seems that this burden of grief has become just a little lighter I have reached out to my friend and she is not there. 

I never thought it was possible to be so heart broken by the loss of a friendship that I didn't even know was gone.  Even writing this entry I have had to pause to dry my eyes. 

My only resolve is to not give up now matter how much the rejection hurts.   Along with all of the other challenges in my life, just letting my friendships go is not the answer.  While my friends and I may be on completely different paths in life,  may they always know that they are important to me, I love them, and I am praying for them.  In Jesus name,

A vintage transformation

Romans 12:2 (NIV) Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing, and perfect will.   


Some days I just wish I could have a different life.  I wish I had chosen a different career path instead of being stuck at the bottom of a new career that I don't really have any passion for.  I wish I didn't have to experience so much sadness and disappointment at every turn.  When I see others that seem to be living the life that I had hoped for, I genuinely feel happy for them but even more sad for my dreams that didn't come true.

If I have learned anything from my experiences its that things change and never ever stay the same. This truth gives me comfort, hope, and the strength to face another day.  

Yesterday I had a really bad day at work.  It was the kind of day where all these issues kept arising that I had absolutely no control over but it was my job to expedite some sort of resolution.  I ran my own business for over 10 years and due to the change in the economy I have had to humble myself and become an employee.  So not having complete control over any and all situations makes me want to scream!  Instead, I come home and work on projects where I do have complete control like working out, sewing, gardening, wine making, or even just washing some dishes. Simple projects that I enjoy give me peace in knowing that I can at least accomplish some things that I set out to do.

My solution for my bad day at work was to take a look at my wardrobe and find a something that could be renewed or transformed.  I came across this shirt dress.

I got this dress at a clothing swap last summer. When I first tried it on it was way too small but I just loved the colors and the unique pattern. So it took up the hopeful space in my closet because I just know someday  it would fit.   Around the same time I decided to start running so I could loose weight just to wear the dress.  I ended up loving to run, I lost weight, and now the dress is almost too big; so this dress really caused a transformation in me! 

 I recently discovered the dress is vintage from a mid 80's designer- Katherine Ogust.   You can't tell from the picture above, but the white was really starting to look dingy and showing its age.  

Katherine Ogust dresses sell for around $140 and I got mine for free!

After my hard day at work, I decided to renew and transform my favorite dress with some fabric dye.

I put it in the washer with some hot water and left the washer cycle on agitate for 30 minutes.  

It was quite an easy process, I sat and watch the washer almost the entire time wishing there was some way I could jump in with the dress, get agitated for 30 minutes, then emerge transformed with a fantastic profession that I love and a working reproductive system!

Until that happens, I'll settle for a new-to-me dress renewed by some $2 fabric dye and transformed by my creativity.  

I headed off to work the next day in my dress armed with a quiet sense of accomplishment and realization that God gave me this washer machine called life; whichever cycle He chooses to have me on, I will emerge renewed and transformed.   In Jesus name

But I still kept it moving

2 Timothy 1:7 ASV For God gave us not a spirit of fearfulness; but of power and love and discipline. 


There is a lot of stuff that I am unnecessarily afraid of like the uncertain future of how I will be able to have children(or what my life will be like without them), fear of becoming terminally ill, fear of my husband getting hurt on the job, or the fear of not being able to pay the mortgage and having to live on the streets!  All of these fears I really have no control of, so I pray about it and leave it up to the Lord.  A lot of times I do feel anxiety but I just know God doesn't want me to spend so much time worrying.  He wants me to trust in Him,  talk to Him about what I am scared of, read His word to find out what He wants me to know, and just keep it moving!   


Facing  fears, no matter how small, and overcoming them is God's way of showing me that He wants what's best for me. And reaching my full potential is a requirement.   

View of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge from Sandy Point Beach

I have always been a swimmer.  In fact I learned to swim about the same time that I learned to walk.  My sign is Pisces so I am very comfortable in the water; oceans, rivers, lakes, pools, streams, a bucket of water..I am all over it!   However, I have only done my fitness swimming in the pool.  The pool has the wall to rest and push off of, lane dividers so you don't run into people, tiles that you can see to the bottom, an even current until you swim by a really large person, and no foreign objects(for the most part).  


Swimming without stopping in the open water has been a big fear.  So today I took an open water swim class on the Chesapeake Bay.   Before the class I had so much anxiety and the biggest case of the 'what if's'.  What if the water is too cold because I didn't have a wet suit, what if I encounter some wildlife that freaks me out and they bite or sting, what if the current is so high that when I turn my head for a breath and all I get is water, what if my goggles fill with water and I can't see, what if I get tense or fatigued and there is no place to rest so I just sink!  My anxiety was so high, I contemplated my lack of estate planning....


But I still kept it moving.

The class instructors wrote numbers on our hands to ensure the same bodies that went into the water were the same bodies that came back out.  They assured us that so far,they had a 100% return rate....um.. OK...

Just about all of my fellow swimmers wore their spiffy wet suits except poor little me!

They gave us a talk in the beginning to give us advice for a good swim like singing a song in your head if you start to panic(*gulp*), preparing us for un-apologetically getting smacked or kicked by fellow swimmers, how to sight landmarks to stay on course or else you might swim off into the wild blue yonder, and not to attempt to run on top of the water if you spot the friendly animals that have a 4 foot wing span and hang out in packs of at least twelve(I didn't even catch the name of the animal all I heard was "4 foot wing span" and "gang of twelve"!)

But I still kept it moving.

Armed with my fresh 'knowledge' I head to the water.  I lagged behind and let the gung-ho wet suits go in first.  When it was my turn, I dove right in and discovered that the temperature was not shockingly cold.  So, I swam the first leg of the 500meter loop and didn't look up so I got off track and away from the group, once I got back on track I ran into people, and then I panicked thinking that I saw one of  the twelve gang members.  

But I still kept it moving.

Here's part of the 500meter loop with the instructors in kayaks.  I am the little black dot with the yellow swim cap.

The longer I swam, the more I became comfortable, confident, and me fears of the open water relieved. I enjoyed myself so much I ended up swimming about 1500meters- nearly a mile!  I discovered, in a brand new way, the aspects of swimming that I love-the space and freedom, the living in the moment, the determination to just keep it moving; all the while experiencing the earth that God created in a new dimension.   

May the Lord continue to calm my fears so I live the life He gave me to the fullest, In Jesus name

The cure for my blues

1 Corinthians 6:19-20(NLT) Don't you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God?  You do not belong to yourself, for God bought you with a high price.  So you must honor God with your body.


When I am feeling down, which is a lot, my first reaction is to lie in bed, watch movies, and eat carbs.  This approach makes me feel even worse than I felt originally.  Unfortunately the movie-carb mode can last for weeks and its a sink hole.  Purely by the grace of God I escape from it.  And when I do get out, my healthier way of coping is exercise.   But not the average 30min/day 3 times a week, instead I tend to go for the extremely hard workouts.  The kind that when you are done, you can't believe you made it through.

I love the workouts in P90x, anything from the Biggest Loser folks, Zumba, intense bike rides up steep inclines, trail runs on rolling hills, and swimming laps.  Lately I have been trying to prepare for the Air Force Classic Ride its a bike ride that has a 5 mile loop and you have to complete as many loops as you can in 3 hours.  I am told there is a really steep hill on this course so I am excited.

Over the past holiday weekend we vacationed on the Eastern Shore of Maryland and biked about 60 miles to help train for my upcoming race-I know its extreme but it keeps me out of the sinkhole!

We rode out to a wild life refuge

Riding on the country roads

Stopped for a break to celebrate and admire the scenery

Nothing like sharing a hard ride with my BFF

Towards the end of this ride, the hubs decided it was a great time to bust out the iphone to take some video; supposedly to give me tips on my form...but we had already done 35 miles and still had 5 to go!! So instead, here is what he got....!

After going really hard on this ride, towards the end I felt like I was having an out of body experience where all you can focus on is one pedal stroke at a time.  Its a similar feeling to the struggle I feel at putting one foot in front of the other and climbing out of the sinkhole.  Today,  I am out of it and looking forward to the next winding road, In Jesus name

Mending the pain with a needle and thread

Isaiah 43:19 (ESV) Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?  I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert


I am not only faced with the physical limitations of not being able to have a baby but it would also be such a financial burden.  I know there are other ways of growing our family but I have no idea how we could fund a real quality of life for a child given our current financial status.  Our financial struggle is certainly a stress entirely on its own.  Despite the pressures of my life, I have actually been able to find solace in sewing.    I learned to sew just over a year ago.  Creating something out of nothing gives me hope that just maybe there is a way out of no way!

In our household there is not really any extra money for buying myself clothes and shoes.  So I shop at thrift stores and recently discovered clothing swaps.  As I attend swaps or go to thrift stores, I keep a creative eye out for items that can be cut up and/or sewn into something new.

This is a clothes hamper that is overflowing with clothes I have picked up along the way destined for new creations.  

This morning I came across this skirt I had picked up at a swap.  (I kept my head scarf on in the picture for some dowdy emphasis!) The skirt is too big, its the wrong length,  but I just loved the pattern and colors.  I thought it would make a cute top.

I pinned along where I wanted to put in a sleeve.

Gave the new sleeve a seam.

Then I cut along the seam for the new sleeve.  

Pinned and sewed along the other side

And here are the finished results! (40 minutes later...)

  I even had some extra material to make a small belt to cinch in the waistline.  

Later in the day I got to live out one of my ultimate fantasies by singing with a band!  My neighborhood had an event where they had a live karaoke band.  I am a terrible singer but I love to sing so I rocked it out in my creation!  

May I continue to create anew and may the Lord fashion a new creation in me! In Jesus name, 

Celebrating 7 years of marriage

Matthew 18:20 (ESV)  "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Marriage is more work than I could ever have imagined.  Still taking the time for each other despite our personal and collective pain can sometimes be beyond our human capability. 

My husband and I are just finishing a marriage course we took at our church called Radical Love.  The concepts taught in the class are completely different from any that I have learned before.   The course teaches that my spouse is a gift from God and my response to the ups and downs of marriage is really a response to God.  So all of the challenges that we face from infertility, financial struggles, or whose turn it is to wash the dishes we must turn to God for the questions and answers.  As conflicts arise they strengthen us and allow us to grow in our relationship with God and each other. 

At this point we don't know what is in the future for our family building.  I can only thank God for the husband He has given me.  I love you babe! In Jesus name

Keeping Up Appearances

I Samuel 16:7 (NIV) But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.  The Lord does not look at things people look at.  People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."


One of my favorite Britcoms is "Keeping Up Appearances".  Its a silly light-hearted show about Hyacinth Bucket who tries her hardest to climb the British social ladder but by the end of every episode, her efforts completely fall apart.  If you have time, this is one of my favorite episodes...

In the face of infertility, I try to give the appearance that I have it all together.  I used to have a laser focus on my life's goals and always orientated to the next task to get there.  My ultimate goal was to have a family with the love of my life.  Not being able to achieve this goal took away my sense of self.  I was no longer the over achiever, the one who sets her sights on something and accomplishes it.  For me, since my ultimate goal can't be achieved, all of my other life goals seem pretty meaningless.  This change forced me to work in a mode of survival.  Every choice I make regarding where I go, what I watch, what I read, who I talk to are in efforts to avoid that pain.  Since I care(probably too much) about what people think, I avoid my painful reality in order to keep up my appearance that things are okay.  And just like Hyacinth Bucket, by the end of the day, the weeks, the month, or even the minute things can fall apart at the drop of a hat.

Its taken 5 years of dealing with this devastation to see that when I am at my weakest is when God really steps in to heal me.  When I am stumbling around, can hardly see through my tears, can barely put one foot in front of the other is when the Holy Spirit nourishes my soul and brings me peace.  I still find myself in lowest despair that never gets any easier but the low points just don't last as long as they used to!  In Jesus name

Happy Mother's Day(..yeah..ok)

Exodus 20:12 (The Message) Honor your father and your mother so that you'll live a long time in the land that God, your God,  is giving you.  


Mother's Day is the most bittersweet day of the year.  While I certainly do my best to honor the unconditional love of my own mother, I love you mom! The most overwhelming feeling is to stay in bed with the covers over my head.  For the entire Mother's Day weekend, EVERY where I go people are wishing me a "Happy Mother's Day"!!  I know, I know, they are just being polite but the assumption that I because I am a woman; I am also a mother is just too much....

A couple of years ago I decided that going to church on Mother's Day is no longer a possibility.  At any moment during the service I could cause a spectacle by falling out in my pew, the ushers may have to rush over to fan me, or even worse they would have to escort me out to the little room with the cot.  I know the Lord wants us to praise and worship Him in the good times and bad but I am just not a mature/evolved enough Christian to not care what people think.  I can just imagine what my church people would say, "Please keep our sister in your prayers, she is going to have to spend some time in the loony bin."  

So instead, my husband and I established our own Mother's Day tradition, we prepare our garden for our summer vegetables! There is nothing like venting my frustration by turning our soil over, hauling in some fresh compost, and planting our new vegetables.  See, people with no kids still know how to have a good time!

For my sisters that are on this journey with me, I wanted to share a hilarious, laugh-out-loud, blog called

  999 Reasons to Laugh at Infertility

The following is a re-post of one of the blogs recent 'tips'

*********************************************************************************

Fertility Tip Number 8,043 —> Try not to have an emotional breakdown about infertility in the workplace. You never know if you’re going to be on an episode of Undercover Boss.

“May-Lou, I’ve called you into my office because I am not really Gus, the pizza delivery guy. I am Constantine the third, the CEO of your workplace. During our time together, I noticed that you spent a lot of time crying in the bathroom and cursing at a box of tampons. As a company, we have decided to pay for all of your fertility treatments, and promote you to a different department for infertility insane workers.”

*********************************************************************************

So, for all the Mothers and Mothers-To-Be-But-You-Don't-Know-When-Its-Going-To-Happen,  

Happy Mothers Day!!

And if you do find yourself falling out or having a breakdown, learn from my mistakes, try your best to protect your head and neck!!  

But when all else fails, just praise Him anyhow.....In Jesus name

What is the point of having kids?

Proverbs 30:16 (NKJV) The grave, the barren womb, the earth that is not satisfied with water-And the fire never says, "Enough!"


So we attended another infertility/adoption seminar last night.  I was most inspired by the ladies' testimonies on how they overcame their challenges in growing their families.  There was a woman that adopted through the foster care system, another adopted through an agency after countless failed fertility treatments, one lady the doctors told her they had no idea why she couldn't conceive and eventually she conceived naturally, and another had her mother be her surrogate delivering her triplets!  A panel of specialist including a  fertility doctor, adoption attorneys, a foster care representative, and counselors that all discussed the ways a family is possible.  The whole theme of the evening seemed to be its not if a family is possible but when.  

After the seminar, we went to talk the fertility doctor because we have not give up hope on having a child that has both mine and my husband's DNA.  But he gave the same answer that so many specialist have before him-NO!  He was very sweet about it and I completely respected his opinion.  He could have said, "sure lets give it a try" and then run to the bank with our money!  At the end of our conversation, the doctor even gave me a hug(I don't think I have ever gotten a hug from a doctor before) but it was probably because he knew the futility of our situation and of course my mascara was running by that point.....

So the discussion after we got home centered around, what is the point of it all? For people like us who seriously have to jump over some major hurdles to have a family, is this the way God intended it to be?  Then once we overcome those hurdles we'll have even larger ones in raising the child. I don't have the slightest idea on what that is like, but from the outside looking in, raising the child seems like its harder than bringing them through the front door.  And I always come back to the same question for myself, "Do I want a child only because it seems impossible?" Or does the yearning for a child come from God like in Psalms 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. 

So I am left with the same grief that never seems to get easier, the same outlook that never gets brighter, and the same questions that never get answered.  Only the Lord knows all....In Jesus name

A spring day in NYC!!

Proverbs 27:9 (NLT) The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense

The devastation of infertility causes a strain on ALL of my relationships.  At times I can become so emotionally unstable that the people who are closest to me tend to stay away.  Even my sweet little dog with her unconditional love runs away when she doesn't know what to make of my extreme grief or maybe its because I have the habit of banging things around in frustration!  It hurts more than words can express how my pain has cost me the relationships that are the most important.   My connections with my family and close friends will prayerfully improve with God's help. 




In the MEANTIME, I have gotten so much joy from hanging out with ladies that I don't know that well but we have a lot of common interests.  So I joined  a variety of MeetUp groups that center around activities that I enjoy.  Its just fun and easy sharing in an activity that you love while having some general girly chit chat.  For once, I can be carefree and I don't have to worry about my mascara running! 


My absolute favorite group is centered around sewing and thrift store shopping.  I get together with these super fun ladies for sewing classes, fabric shopping, and finding thrift store bargains.  This past weekend we hung out in New York City for some fabric shopping and visited some of the famous flea markets. 

My new friends trying on some fab vintage overcoats.

My attempt at being NYC chic in the famous Hell's Kitchen Flea market

Amazing fabric for days...

We made some great purchases at Spandex World...I got this bright idea to make some running skirts!

Thank you Mood!...the prices are so expensive I could only afford the bag and a half yard of silk...

Just an incredible time with these ladies, I look forward to more good time with my old and new friends.  Relationships are so important, despite my personal struggles, I pray those that matter now how special they are to me,  In Jesus name